In a shocking move, the United Nations recently gave tween heartthrob Nick Carter the title of special ambassador of the Year of the Dolphin. What exactly is the Year of the Dolphin campaign? It is a campaign designed to raise awareness of dolphins and the numerous “threats” they face on a daily basis. Nick Carter plans to contribute to the campaign by making a special song and music video for the dolphins, and insider information tells me that the new song will be named “Dolphins Have Feelings Too.” He also plans to come to schools across the country to talk about dolphins, and you know what that means: Nick Carter may be coming to Pennsbury soon (fingers crossed). I don’t think all of this is enough though. His actions will no doubt inspire millions (if not billions) of kids across the globe, but he also needs to work with the dolphins themselves. Maybe by teaching them dance moves, they can attract attention from careless boat drivers and save themselves from being hit by boats. And by giving them singing lessons, Nick can teach them how to soothe the vicious minds of poachers through the power of songs. Finally, by letting some dolphins live in the House of Carters for awhile, he can teach them the power of love. The sky’s the limit.
I also expect that several other boy bands will be joining Nick in his never-ending struggle for animals. Any day now, JC Chasez will probably start campaigning for the Saiga Antelope, and I expect Nick’s little brother Aaron to start campaigning for the Aquatic Warbler. Soon, we’ll have pop stars across
The Walrus
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