Video games. Headshot.

So then I was like, "bddat! psheeeew! blatt!" and the other dudes all like "nuh-uh" and I'm all like "yuh-huh" and hes all like "headshot suckazzzz" and I go "you got nothing, n00blet" and he goes....

Shut up. Please.

Though the average discussion of video games, video gaming and how large your World of Warcraft characters nads are tends to rarely evolve past the above state of conversation, the video game industry continues to raise impressive profits and turn more kids into headshot-dealing sociopaths. Why is this, you inquire? Well, we aren't there yet. I still havent mentioned how awesome the Wii is. It is really cool. I mean you move the stick thing all like "scheeew" and the guy goes.... I apologize. It must be contagious. Nonetheless, let us analyze why we love using death-rays against aliens and jumping on the heads of mushrooms.

Theory #1: Life sucks. Video games are fun.
Video games offer a way to escape the usually sucky world of real life. No need to do homework, pay insurance or fix the toilet in poke world. This may be way people who have sucked away so many hours of their life playing video games are shocked to realize when they go outside that they are failing their classes, have had their car stolen and there is a lot of... something... in the toilet.

Theory #2: Video Games are addictive.
Perhaps there is something about them, besides the whole "OH SNAP I JUST CAPPED YO MAMA" factor. Perhaps a sound very low on the hertz scale, or a certain microwave emission from your Xbox 360 that reminds you, "You haven't played counterstrike in a while, have you Johnny?" Naturally, the voice would be a seductive feminine voice, since we all know only guys play video games.

Theory #3: Making up for lacking somewhere else.
Are you asking for a challenge? I think not. Because I will destroy you. Any game. Name the place. Name the time. You can even pick the level. But I'll face-crush you in any video game. No, I don't have any friends, or a job or even a scrap of a social life. But you bring your turbo controller, and I'll bring my multi-tap, and we'll see who the real man is.

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